Woman spends entire bachelorette trip crocheting instead of joining bridal activities, demands apology from bride for asking her to limit crochet time: 'We gave her the option to stay home'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 4, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Some of us (I would actually venture most of us) have limited social batteries. We can't go all day talking with people, especially people we don't know that well, and come home and do some more talking. Most of us need some amount of alone time so we can recharge, regroup, and feel like ourselves again. If this sounds like you, odds are you've had some practice setting boundaries in this way. If we're on a big trip with a bunch of people, we might say "I'm taking a recharge walk by myself, see y'all in a couple hours." And if you're clear and respectful about communicating your boundaries, then your friends have no choice but to respect them. 

The woman in this story, though, had a weird way of going about boundary setting. Instead of trying her best to participate in group activities when she could, she neglected all of them in favor of her crafting activity.

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    Cheezburger Image 10475402752
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Crafting can be an excellent way to alleviate stress, and having something to do with your hands can help calm a busy mind. Not to mention, if you're a crafter, you always have the perfect gift idea for a friend or a family member. But this woman took the crafting time too far. Read on for the story and see what you think.

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    AITA for asking a guest to not crochet at my bachelorette party?

    I'm (28F) getting married this year (yay!) and went on my bachelorette party trip last weekend. The trip was to a cabin- type setting where we all stayed in the same house. I have three bridesmaids, but also invited some friends to come along.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    Part of the group is my brother's girlfriend (36F, brother is 38M) of five months who isn't in the wedding party. She wasn't initially invited because I don't know her well and they live in another state, but my brother asked me to invite her as a favor to him. He said that she's never been invited to a bachelorette and likely never would be (I have no idea why, this is just what he told me), and hoped. she could have this experience.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    Since people would be paying their own way and the group wasn't large, I figured why not. She seemed nice enough.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    The problem is that during the weekend, she would insist on crocheting all the time, even during our events and games. When I asked her to participate with us, she said that she took time off for the trip, and wanted to make the most of her "vacation" by catching up on her crochet projects. And that playing games and hanging out with my friends wasn't "fun" and she didn't want to "waste" her days off (all her words, not mine).
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    To be clear, I don't care that she wants to crochet in general. Most of our activities ended after dinner anyways and we'd just hang out in the living room. I just asked her to saving the crocheting for at night after the activities.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    My issue is that she was taking her crocheting with us to places like wine tasting, brunch, a museum tour, etc. It was super disrespectful in my eyes because she'd insist on coming yet wouldn't participate in the activity. Honestly, I was bothered that she was crocheting when we were playing bridal games, but at least that was in our living room!
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    The trips over now, but apparently she was super peeved that I asked to limit her crocheting time, and my brother's been pestering me to apologize to her for ruining her trip. I personally don't feel like I should, because she shouldn't have come to a bachelorette party if she didn't want to do bachelorette-y things!
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    But I also love brother very much and I don't want this to come between us. I'm starting to doubt myself because his girlfriend sounds really annoyed with me. Please help!
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    Edit: I wanted to add some details in case it helps, because I think some people think I'm being a bridezilla: 1. She was crocheting a throw blanket about the width of my entire arm span. That's what she was carrying with her to dinner, museums, wineries, etc. It wasn't some small
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    thing the size of my palm. She also had the materials for the blanket with her: about five balls of yarn? I'm not sure what you'd call it, but each ball was about the size of a cantaloupe.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    2. We gave her the option to stay home. I told her I wouldn't be offended if this trip wasn't her style and she wanted to spend it crocheting. But she insisted on coming out with us to every single event.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    3. Even though my brother asked me to bring her, she admitted to me that she wanted to come and that she had asked my brother to ask me.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    4. She's doesn't have social anxiety. She just thought our activities were boring and a waste of her time. I mentioned this in another comment, but I overheard her calling my party a "basic b bachelorette", but I didn't want to confront her because I didn't want to cause drama.
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    5. My biggest issue isn't that she wasn't giving me attention. Please! I'm a grown adult and already thankful for the friends giving me love and joy during the weekend. I just thought it was super r de to crochet such a big project during group activities. She literally brought her blanket to a museum and crocheted during a private tour!
    via u/Plane-Presence9361
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    Cheezburger Image 10475403008
    via Unsplash+ (Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters were quick to take the bride's side in this bachelorette spat.

    rockology_adam • 3d ago So... do we maybe see why brother's GF would never be invited to a bachelorette party? NTA. I'm SUPER curious about whether B's GF even wanted to go on this bachelorette weekend or whether it might have been
    via u/rockology_adam
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    your brother's idea, and that answer changes how much I judge the GF here. If this was your brother's idea, her A- holery is super mild. She had vacation time, this is what she wanted to do with it, your brother set this trip up so she could spend some time with you.... it's unfortunate that he inserted himself here and ruined both of your weekends.
    via u/rockology_adam
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    If she made the suggestion herself, then she is WILDLY A-holish. You don't need to sit around at a wine-tasting doing crochet, and more importantly... no one with much sense of etiquette would. It's one thing if you're sitting around the house in those quiet evenings. Yes, by all means, relax how you want. But during scheduled events? Don't come on the trip if you don't want to participate in things.
    via u/rockology_adam
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    The worst part is that if she had done one or two things, maybe the wine-tastings or the games, without the crochet, and had just told you she was shy or quiet or an introvert with a limited social battery, this would have been fine. You would have cared more that she did the one or two things than that she crocheted during all of the other things.
    via u/rockology_adam
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    mizfit416 • 3d ago If anyone needs to apologize, it's your brother, for asking that his gf come along AND the gf. She's just R_DE.
    via u/mizfit416
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    • NoHorseNoMustache 3d ago Who does crocheting when they're wine tasting or on a museum tour anyhow, bachelorette party or not?
    via u/NoHorseNoMustache
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    SelinaRochell22 3d ago Your brother literally said he wanted her to go because she'd never been invited to a bachelorette and she "hoped she could have the experience" but instead of her being in the moment and ACTUALLY participating to GET THE EXPERIENCE she
    via u/SelinaRochell22
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    closed herself off by focusing on crocheting. You didn't ruin her trip. She imposed on your trip and isolated herself. You have nothing to apologize for. NTA
    via u/SelinaRochell22
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    NatashOverWorld 3d ago Sounds like this is your brothers mess. His GF wanted to crochet, not go to museums and wine tastings And it's not a group vacation, it's a special event for the bride that if you're not into participating, you don't join.
    via u/NatashOverWorld
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    Sounds like your brother was trying to force his GF to socialise, at the potential cost of your bachelorette. Just to keep peace I'd say ignore it and they can choose to come or not to the wedding, but I wouldn't forget about it.
    via u/NatashOverWorld
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    paperOwl 3d ago I'm a crocheter. I have brought crochet to wineries and had yarn in my bag when we were playing tour guide for out-of-town cousins. Small talk often makes me physically uncomfortable and we semi-seriously joke that I have undiagnosed ADHD, so I always need something to do with my hands.
    via u/paper0wl
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    That said, my "travel" crochet projects are all small. I deliberately plan for 1-2 skeins at most for a 3-5 day trip. One time I was doing colorwork, brought 3 skeins for a week-long trip, and felt uncomfortably overpacked.
    via u/paper0wl
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    If she didn't want to "waste" precious crafting time on social activities, she should have skipped the bachelorette and stayed home with her yarn. NTA
    via u/paper0wl

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